by James Pogue

New Year’s Resolutions….

Let’s start with a definition.

I like doing this because it puts us all on the ‘same page’.

So, for this moment I’m asking you to agree or imagine with me that resolution is defined as a firm decision to do or not to do something.

With that said, what am I or should you be resolving for this year?

I am going to focus on relationships…and I am going to start with this guy in the mirror named James.

Why him? Well, the truth is I have known him for a while and he and I have had some difficult moments. There are so many things that I have wanted to talk with him about but like many of you, we ‘just haven’t found the time’ or, when we have had time, ‘the moment hasn’t been right’.

This hasn’t been good for either of us. He is my friend. And I am not the kind of person who has a lot of friends. I need to keep him.

There is so much I want to share with James. So many things he has accomplished that have made me proud to know him…but I’ve never said it to him directly. I’ve missed the opportunity or perhaps, more truthfully, avoided the opportunity to tell him how proud I am of him. I don’t want to miss those chances anymore.

In so many ways, because the nature of our relationship is unique, I am the only one who knows so many things about him. I remember when he was in the gutter and at his worst. Whether emotionally, financially, or when there were health scares or quivers in his confidence; I was there. I need to make sure he knows that I watched him when he struggled. I observed him when he was broken, sometimes a little, sometimes a lot.

I saw him clawing and climbing.

I knew him before he was Dr. Pogue. I remember when he wasn’t sure he had the intellectual heft to compete with the academic heavyweights that surrounded him.

I knew him before he was a martial arts champion. I saw him get his face beaten in by athletes who were more talented, experienced and capable than he was. I remember when he had the choice to be bloodied and beaten and stay down…or be bloodied and beaten and get up.

I recall when he was broken by relationships…and when he broke others.

And while I don’t approve of all his decisions, actions, how he sometimes treated others or himself, I do need to tell him I was there, and it wasn’t all bad.

This year I resolve to spend quality time with James and deepen our connection. To have
honest conversations about the secrets he and I share. To celebrate the successes and hold each other accountable for the bumps we caused in our lives and those of others.

I’m not exactly certain how this year will end with him and me, but I do know we will be more deeply connected and that will make us better for each other and all the other relationships we have.

I don’t know what your relationship with the person in the mirror is but maybe now is a good time to check in and see how you can help each other be better, healthier, more focused, more honest…well
just more.

Good luck and Happy New Year!

Signed,

James & that guy in the mirror