The Real Reason Paris is the “City of Love”!
As a relationship coach and hypnotherapist working between Hong Kong and Paris, I’ve noticed stark differences in how men approach romance in the 2 cities.
Hong Kong’s fast-paced dating scene often prioritises efficiency over passion, while French men excel at making love feel like an art form and sweeping women off their feet (yes, guilty as charged :-))
After having just returned from a month in Paris, where I have been observing (and dating) French men, I wanted to share my top 3 strategies Hong Kong men can borrow to deepen their romantic connections, without losing their practicality.
1. Master the Art of Slow Seduction
Oolalaa, do those Frenchies know how to woo a lady?! I confirm dating in Paris is a whole different experience, and not just because no one is expecting you split the bill.
Here is what’s different: French men don’t rush.
They savor the buildup—lingering eye contact, playful teasing, and just the right amount of mystery.
When a seemingly innocent question (“What is your favourite bridge in Paris?”) leads to a romantic midnight stroll under the Eiffel Tower, you know this is not a one-night stand.
How to adapt this to Hong Kong
– Call her with a plan. Women appreciate when a man leads and shows real desire to spend time with her, so don’t just default to texting. You will stand out.
– Put your phone away on dates. Give her your full attention. Nothing says ‘I care about you and our connection’ more than your interest in spending quality time with her.
– Compliment creatively. Instead of “You’re pretty,” try “The way you laugh makes this bar feel brighter.” (PS. Girls have mirrors too and the obvious compliments will only make her roll her eyes, which is not a good sign!)
2. Conversation beats Interrogation
Yup, sometimes a date in Hong Kong feels like a job interview, but only if you make it so. Even though the purpose of the first few dates is to ultimately determine the potential of a future relationship, focusing on the mundane aspects of what it would be like to date that person totally kills the vibe.
French men avoid work-related questions (“What do you do?”), and they would NEVER ask ‘How much do you earn? Instead, they discuss passions, travels, and opinions, which tell you a lot more about your date’s potential to be a great partner than whether they can split the bill at the end of the date.
How to bring some of this charm to the Hong Kong dating scene?
– Practice your conversation skills by focusing on asking open-ended questions: “What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve done this year?”, or “What are you passionate about?’.
– Develop a healthy sense of humour by playfully challenging your date to funny debates: “Croissants vs. egg tarts—fight me.”
– Listen more than you talk: nod, reflect, and respond thoughtfully with personal stories. Ultimately, remember that to be interesting you need to focus on being interested (even though you may think your important job and fancy watch are what’s gonna make her fall in love with you.)
After all, the purpose of the first date is only for both of you to decide that you want to keep exploring this connection. Deep conversation and personal sharing create emotional intimacy, making her want to see you again.
3. Make Every Date Feel Like an Experience
Aren’t we all a little bored of grabbing a drink in Tai Kwun or a coffee in IFC? Dates are not about how much you spend on dinner or whether you picked the fanciest bar in town.
French men avoid generic dinner-and-drinks dates. They plan unforgettable moments—a nighttime river cruise on the Seine, joining an outdoor dance class, or jazz bar hopping.
What could the Hong Kong Equivalent be? Think outside the box:
– Invite her for a surprise sunset walk on the Peak that ends with cheese and wine/champagne overlooking the city (avoid hardcore hikes in heat and humidity – girls usually prefer the non-sweaty look when they’re trying to look attractive).
– Keep it playful by just saying ‘Wear something cozy—we’re going somewhere fun.’ That way, she won’t be wearing high heels when you’re planning a sprint in the crowded streets of Causeway Bay, rushing to keep the booking.
– Plan a midweek date in a hidden speakeasy with live music (think Foxglove) where you can shake a leg, but also flirt like no one is watching.
Final Tips: The French “Je Ne Sais Quoi”
French men succeed because they treat romance like a game they enjoy not a mission to “win” someone. Hong Kong men can adopt this mindset:
Flirt because it’s fun, not just to get a result. Even if things don’t work out with everyone you date, each person you meet can teach you something.
Rejection is redirection: when someone doesn’t choose you, they are doing you a favour, so don’t waste your time.
Make her feel special, not like an option. French men don’t expect girls to come meet them at places, so the hottest thing you can do to impress a girl is to say ‘Be ready at 8. I’m sending you an Uber.” (or picking you up, if you happen to own a car).
