How to Stand Out ANYWHERE!

stand out now

Whoever we are – no matter how smart or shy, rich or ‘normal’ – there are times in our lives when we need to stand out! We need to make a good impression. And, as they say, it only takes a few seconds for people to decide if we’re someone they like, they want to hire or to hang out with.

In love or at work, first impressions are they way we get instantly judged, evaluated by the people around us. They often determine the course of someone’s entire relationship with us.

Despite what you might believe, there IS a way we can ensure we ALWAYS make a good first impression – without being fake or creating a false image of ourselves.

If you’ve ever met people who ‘put on a show’ – by either dressing in a way that didn’t suit them, wearing more make up than it would enhance their features or posing with a wild animal in their Tinder picture (:-) – it’s usually because they are afraid. They often think ‘if people knew the real me, no one would ever like me’. So they imagine that by creating a persona they believe to be more likeable, they will be more successful at meeting new people.

The truth is people can see right through that. We can all spot a fake from miles away and, when that happens, we usually decide exactly what they’re trying to avoid: ‘This person can’t be trusted, I don’t want them in my life.’

So how can we ensure that whenever we put ourselves out there, we really create the most authentic and real image of ourselves, while at the same time showcasing what makes us really special and unique, why everyone would LOVE to have us in their lives?

Whether you want to have a 5-star online dating profile, a perfect LinkedIn account or simply knowing what to wear and how to behave in any social circumstance, here are 3 things you need to do:

  1. Be clear on who you really are and what makes you special. In a world full of ‘normal’ people, you have something that no one else has. Work out what that is. Your awesome personality, your great sense of humour, your ability to instantly connect with people or your incredible knowledge of all the details of the Game of Thrones. Whatever that is, focus on it and let it shine.

If you had to write an article about yourself, what would be the catchy headline? What would make people want to read on to learn the details?

  1. Build a memorable online presence. We live our lives increasingly split between two worlds. In ‘real’ life, where we interact with people in person,  first impressions are built on appearance, body language, our social engagement skills.  In the ‘digital’ world we rely on photos to create that first second of connection. Because our brains decide literally in fractions of a second whether we like someone or not based on just seeing a still image of them, it becomes paramount that we present ourselves from our best ‘angle’.

Carefully choose one relevant and unique aspect of your personality when you create an online profile that will ensure people will pause to see more of you and remember you for the right reason. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so make it a great one!  Whether you want to focus on your spirit of adventure and love of travel when looking for a life partner or aim to look professional yet approachable when looking for your dream job, just make sure you don’t post holiday snaps or a selfie taken while getting ready for a party. The one picture can be the difference between meeting the love of your life or getting the dream job and losing them forever.

  1. Develop your own ‘brand’. There is a good reason we love brands – they stand for something. They have a unique style and presence, are recognisable and above all memorable. When the branding work is done right, you only need a simple detail (think Nike swoosh) to recognize it and receive the message. The same is true for people. The more you create a personal style and character that is ‘uniquely you”, the easier it will be for people to connect with you, want to learn more and get you without much effort.

Remember that your style is nothing but a reflection of your values and your uniqueness, so make sure you are clear about those. All there is left then is to work on a few details that will help you be remembered. Whether we’re talking a certain type of statement jewelry you wear all the time, a distinctive haircut or colour or a ‘signature’ hashtag in your Instagram feed, work on simple (and visual!) ‘memory hooks’. You know you’ve done it well when people say ‘this is so YOU”. Feel free to play and experiment until you find what works.

Welcome!

I’m Valentina Tudose,
Hong Kong’s Number 1 Relationship Coach

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