New Year’s Resolutions.

We love them, we hate them, we break them. Especially when it comes to relationships, those grand promises of “communicating better” or “being more romantic” often fizzle out by February.

But what if, instead of setting rigid resolutions, we approached the new year as an opportunity to design our relationships? To intentionally create the love and connection we crave?

This year, ditch the resolutions and embrace a more mindful approach to building lasting love. Here’s how:

1. Reflect and Reconnect:

Before setting any goals, take time to reflect on the past year. What were your relationship highlights? What challenges did you face? Have an honest conversation with your partner about your needs, desires, and areas for growth. This sets the foundation for meaningful change. (If you’re unsure where to start, check out these questions for inspiration). 

2. Choose a Theme, Not a Resolution:

Instead of a rigid resolution, choose a theme that encapsulates your relationship aspirations for the year. This could be “Deepening Intimacy,” “Prioritizing Connection,” or “Communicating with Compassion.” A theme provides a guiding principle without the pressure of a specific outcome. Whatever the year’s theme, I love creating a Vision Board with my partner to bring that story to life. This enables us to create that reality much easier than trying to stick to abstract some goals. 

3. Set Intentions, Not Expectations:

Intentions are powerful because they focus on your desired state of being, rather than a fixed outcome. Instead of resolving to “have date night every week,” set the intention to “create more opportunities for fun and connection.” This allows for flexibility and creativity. I like to indulge in a little fantasy session (no, not that kind of fantasy! 😂) and ‘time travel’ to that desired state of being, to help my manifestation muscles and experience the joy of what it will feel like when we reach that place. 

4. Focus on Small, Sustainable Changes:

Grand gestures are great, but lasting change comes from small, consistent actions. Instead of overhauling your entire relationship, focus on one or two specific areas you want to improve. Maybe it’s practising active listening for 10 minutes each day or expressing gratitude to your partner more often. If you feel you’re doing well and want to discover a new challenge, why not take this short Advanced Relationship Competencies Quiz to find out what else you can explore?

5. Make it Fun and Collaborative:

Relationship goals shouldn’t feel like a chore. Involve your partner in the process and brainstorm ways to make your intentions fun and engaging. Maybe you create a “connection jar” with date night ideas or start a weekly gratitude ritual. Remember, a relationship is by definition a joint project, a constant energy exchange, so the more you and your partner actively participate in the co-creation of your desired future, the closer you will get overtime. 

6. Celebrate Your Wins:

Acknowledge and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Recognizing your achievements reinforces positive behaviors and keeps you motivated. It is a common human feature to focus on what’s not there, the road still untravelled, but looking backwards to see how far you’ve come is a much better measure of success than how far you still have to travel. 

7. Be Patient and Kind:

Change takes time and effort. Be patient with yourselves and each other, and remember that setbacks are a normal part of the process. Approach your relationship with kindness and understanding, even when things get tough. The biggest lesson for me this year has been a reminder that all the hard times my partner and I have overcome have served the powerful purpose of teaching us how to love each other better so show each other gratitude and support no matter what. 

8. Seek Support When Needed:

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. A relationship coach or therapist can provide guidance, support, and tools to navigate challenges and deepen your connection. Even after 10 years of doing this for a living, when my relationship is in trouble I rarely reach out to friends to get their help. Not because my friends are not absolutely amazing – because they totally are! However, an impartial, professional view of the situation is the most efficient way of finding the best answers and levelling up our skills and understanding of each other. 

Here are some examples of relationship themes and intentions you may want to consider:

• Theme: Deepening Intimacy
  
  
  • Intention: Create more opportunities for vulnerability and emotional connection.
• Theme: Prioritizing Connection
  
  
  • Intention: Schedule regular quality time together and minimize distractions.
• Theme: Communicating with Compassion
  
  
  • Intention: Practice active listening and express needs with kindness and respect.

This year, ditch the pressure of resolutions and embrace the power of intentional design. By reflecting, reconnecting, and setting meaningful intentions, you can create a relationship that flourishes in the new year and beyond.

If you really want to take this process to the next level – or if you have no idea where to start – I am still offering 5 complimentary Relationship Strategy Sessions for those wishing to start 2025 on the right foot.

Try your luck by entering the prize draw below:

Win a Free Relationship Strategy Session Here (registration extended to Dec 29,2024)