Did you know the very first emotion we experience when we are born is a form of anxiety?
Suppose the definition of anxiety is an unpleasant state of high autonomous arousal – meaning discomfort – associated with not knowing what will happen next. In that case, it is exactly what taking our first breath would feel like.
Because our tiny newborn brain has no reference for what is happening.
When I was growing up, I didn’t know this word. No one was talking about it. Worrying about what would happen next was a fact of life. We were nervous, or scared. We were freaked out before exams and terrified if we got low grades.
But we didn’t have anxiety. At least, we didn’t think of it that way.
It is not like the world 40 years ago was safer or more certain. We didn’t face less judgement or rejection from others, school and work were still all about performance and being the best. Nothing was perfect.
And, guess what?
That was great!
The discomfort of not knowing what will happen next, the inherent uncertainty of life, made things interesting and forced us out of our comfort zones.
Anxiety is often viewed as a negative emotion, something to be avoided or suppressed. However, anxiety is a very powerful, often underutilized tool. When experienced in moderation and not as a chronic or generalized condition, anxiety can serve as a powerful catalyst for personal growth and development.
It can be transformed from a source of distress and a pathological issue into a valuable resource that we can learn to harness for our benefit.
The Biology of Anxiety
Anxiety is a natural response to stress, characterized by feelings of worry, fear, or apprehension about future events. It can manifest in various ways, from mild unease to intense panic. While chronic anxiety can be debilitating and requires professional intervention, situational anxiety—such as the nerves felt before a big presentation or a significant life change—can be a normal and even beneficial part of life.
The trick to mastering it is to recognize what is happening as a physiological response – that is the body getting ready to face the circumstances – and to create a positive interpretation.
How can feeling anxious be good for you?
1. Ready, set, go!
Anxiety is a great motivator. When faced with an upcoming challenge, such as a job interview or an important exam, anxiety can prompt us to prepare more thoroughly. This preparation will most likely lead to improved performance and increased confidence.
The only time I failed an exam in my student life was when I thought I could not fail. I thought passing was a done deal, so I didn’t prepare anything and went in assuming it was a formality. It wasn’t, but a bit of exam anxiety would have saved me from the trauma of failure.
2. Stay Sharp
In moderate doses, anxiety can positively impact our awareness and focus. It can sharpen our senses, help us notice details and enhance quick thinking and decision-making. In fact, it is critical to the process of learning as it signals to the brain there is something that needs to be retained and remembered.
I’ve been speaking in front of people since I was 6 years old. (Yes, in my school, I had to do a lot of leading and ordering the kids about from a very young age, believe it or not). And yet, 40 years on, I still feel the butterflies in my stomach, just before I stand up. I thank my body in that moment for giving me this clear signal I am ready to face the challenge and the butterflies instantly calm down.
3. Creator of change
Anxiety often arises from a desire for change or improvement. It can signal that something in our lives needs to be addressed, whether it’s a career change, a relationship issue, or a personal goal. By acknowledging and exploring our anxiety, we can identify areas for growth and take proactive steps toward positive change.
If a relationship makes me anxious, I take it as a sign I need to pay attention to how I feel around that person and how they make me feel. There IS a difference and understanding what story I tell myself about the situation is the fastest way to determine the action I need to take.
4. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
Facing and overcoming anxiety is a great way to build our resilience muscle. Each time we confront our fears and navigate through anxious situations, we develop coping strategies and gain confidence in our ability to handle challenges. This resilience can serve us well in any situation, making us more adaptable and resourceful.
A friend just wrote to me about how proud he is of himself for having overcome crippling anxiety that made him a social outcast. He turned from a loner, unable to speak to strangers to a new man who travels the world solo, can walk up to anyone and make friends everywhere he goes.
How To Make Discomfort Your Best Friend
Anxiety is our number one survival strategy and learning how to manage and channel it effectively is key to our development.
Here are some practical steps to harness it to your advantage:
1. Befriend Your Anxiety
Anxiety can be a gift, not just a curse so acknowledge it as such. Instead of trying to suppress or ignore your feelings, recognize that anxiety is there to help you learn something. By paying attention to how your body feels and validating your emotions, you can begin to understand their source and purpose.
2. See It With New Eyes
Anxiety is the fear that everything will go wrong, while Anticipation is the assumption that everything happens to your advantage. Your body doesn’t know the difference but your mind does. Ask yourself what your anxiety is trying to tell you. Is it highlighting an area of your life that needs attention or prompting you to take action?
3. Be present
No matter how uncertain the future is, we can handle everything in the present – think of the 10-second rule. We can tolerate the worst pain for 10 seconds so keep thinking it’s all temporary. By focusing on your breath and observing your thoughts without judgment, you can reduce the intensity of your anxiety and create space for clarity and insight.
4. Seize the day
Instead of avoiding situations that trigger anxiety, lean into them. Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth. Each time you confront your fears, you build confidence and resilience, reinforcing your ability to handle future challenges.
5. Reflect and reframe your experience
After navigating a challenging situation that caused you anxiety, take time to reflect on the experience. What did you learn about yourself? How did you cope? Reflecting on your experiences can help you identify patterns and develop strategies for future situations so next time something similar comes up, you already know you can handle it.
Rather than viewing anxiety as an enemy, embrace it as a valuable ally on your journey of personal growth and over time, it will become your strength.
