Do you remember that amazing feeling when you first meet someone, and the attraction is sky-high?
You feel so connected, you want to spend the whole time with them (ideally naked!)…. No wonder you feel like you’re the luckiest girl in the world!
And then you move in together, maybe have a child and in time you feel your connection is getting weaker every day. Many couples feel more and more distant the longer they are together and are struggling to regain the level of intimacy they had in the beginning.
If you’re lost and wonder what you can do to restore the connection and get back to feeling truly wanted, read on.
While it is a bit cliché to think that intimacy equals sex, we really must not forget that sex is the glue that keeps the relationship together.
Here are 3 reasons why more sex leads to a deeper connection:
1. It literally bonds you to your partner!
It is simple biology that we are not made to be alone. As humans we are interdependent creatures designed to be a team, to find a partner with whom we feel connected enough to create a long-term partnership.
This bond is practically achieved through sex – what we call chemistry: the attraction we feel for someone who is a compatible sexual partner.
Each time you cuddle, kiss and have sex, your body produces a hormone called oxytocin, also known as the ‘bonding’ or ‘love hormone’. This makes you feel closer to your partner and makes them find you more attractive, so you are both more interested in spending time together and reconnecting emotionally.
2. Physical Touch is one of the best ways to show your love
Did you know there are 5 different ways people show their affection for others? To check if it’s yours and your partner’s preferred love language visit www.5lovelanguages.com.
When you feel disconnected, it could be simply that you have not spent enough time touching each other. You can simply start by giving each other a hug and a kiss when you get home or ask your partner for a back or foot massage if you are tired.
This can stop right there or evolve to kissing, stroking and, why not!?, full-on bedroom action. Remember that being sexual doesn’t have to lead to penetration so just enjoy the playfulness of touch with no expectation it must end with simultaneous orgasms. In fact, the best part of sex is the pillow talk part when you share with your partner what was amazing for you in that particular experience.
3. Sex is a great confidence boost
Lack of intimacy often leads to self-doubt and worries your partner may not find you as attractive. It’s a vicious cycle: you don’t have sex because you feel unattractive and then you feel unattractive because you’re missing the validation your partner’s desire gives you.
A great way to ensure you get your fill of a well-deserved confidence boost on a regular basis is to create intimate sex rituals. This can be as easy as a regular (sex) date night every Thursday or just getting in the habit of sending each other saucy texts during the day to increase anticipation ahead of a special night.
Whatever you choose, remember that when it comes to sex ‘if you don’t use it, you lose it’ so the more you connect with each other sexually, the more you will keep the desire, intimacy, and connection going.